I’m so HIM!
November 25, 2008
I have a really lame-ass father. He’s not a man, he’s just some sick person who was able to con my mom into living with him for 19 years while he beat us, brainwashed us, etc etc.
Anyway, there’s a part of my dad that’s in me and I HATE it so much. Not only because it’s part of him but because it’s pathetic.
Amongst a million other flaws, my dad has this serious issue with motivation. His is so bad that it’s ruined his life. Mine isn’t so bad. But you know, the whole starting projects and never finishing, messy house, no drive to fulfil my dreams…etc. I hate it with all of my heart.
I have no clue how to find the motivation to do things I don’t want to do or things that I am scared of. That inner strength is hard to find within me for some reason, especially if I’m the only person relying on me.
That’s so…DAD…grrrr. I want nothing to do with that man at all. Anyway, I heard Alicia Keys perform this at the AMA’s and I felt inspired by it.
Everywhere I’m turning
Nothing seems complete
I stand up and I’m searching
For the better part of me
I hang my head from sorrow
state of humanity
I wear it on my shoulders
Gotta find the strength in me
Cause I am a Superwoman
Yes I am
Yes she is
Even when I’m a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I’m a Superwoman
For all the mothers fighting
For better days to come
And all my women, all my women sitting here trying
To come home before the sun
And all my sisters
Coming together
Say yes I will
Yes I can
Cause I am a Superwoman
Yes I am
Yes she is
Even when I’m a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I’m a Superwoman
When I’m breaking down
And I can’t be found
And I start to get weak
Cause no one knows
Me underneath these clothes
But I can fly
We can fly, Oh
Cause I am a Superwoman
Yes I am
Yes she is
Even when I’m a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I’m a Superwoman
I need all the inspiration I can get
November 26, 2008 at 4:11 am
Find something on the “medium” side of challenging and complete it.
Maybe like “I will wash the towels every Tuesday.” And do it.
“Walk two days a week for exercise.” And do it.
Set reachable goals, this will give you confidence to complete the things you don’t want to do and then maybe make NOT completing something an option you don’t accept…
Then you can move to big stuff. If you set up big stuff all the time you are setting yourself up for failure and the cycle never ends. It is really a state of mind…
November 26, 2008 at 4:34 pm
There are definitely parts of my dad in me that I wish weren’t there.
I’m learning to push through them, and learn something new. Rewrite who I am in a sense.
sc
December 23, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Well, I’d have to say dad’s can be a pain. My grand dad died at 58. I think my great-grand dad died in his late fifties. So naturally my dad told me all our family men died before sixty. Well, he made it to sixty and died two months later. What a pronoucement that was to put on me. I refused to have the sins of the fathers visit me. I’m beating that. I’m the only one of my brothers who is still alive or hasn’t had bypass surgery and I’m 58. And you know what? I’m the oldest of the brothers.
I’ve started my autobiography and I will write in it for the rest of my life. That is an everyday thing on my heart to do.
Don’t let your dad influence who you are. Start a project that you know you can do and finish it. Put a little bit more on the end of the next project until you can do something big. I dare you to try it.
So Superwoman, fly.